I haven’t been on here writing anything personal for a while. Not because I haven’t had anything to write about. Quite the opposite. There has been so much going on that I have been too busy. However, lately, I feel like I should be writing, sorting through life outloud and getting it all off my chest.
Mother Catches Daughter Using Phone When Meant To Be Studying
Yesterday, my 10 year old daughter, Savannah left her gmail open. Like any good mom, I had to look. I guess I didn’t have to, but in mind I am justified because I am her mom and I have a right to know what she is up to. I am not always a warm, fuzzy, milk and cookies type of parent so I figure she doesn’t tell me a lot. Which is a lesson that I have learned from this. More about that later.
My sweet, innocent, naive little girl has been decieving me. She is still sweet, but not so innocent. She has been stringing two boys on for a few months now. I am not stupid and I know she has had crushes on boys for a few months, but this is “I like him, but I like you more so don’t tell the first boy”. This has created friction between the two boys because they are best friends and between her and a girlfriend who also likes the same boys. It was a great opportunity for me to teach her the lesson of friends before boys. I am sure I will have to be reteaching that lesson numerous times in the future, but at least she has heard it once.
My other huge learning lesson for me was to be more involved in my daughter’s life. We spend time together, but I have been evaluating whether that time is quality and meanigful. Turns out, it is neither. I learned that I need to really talk and listen, and ask deep probing questions sometimes. I always thought that if she wanted to and needed to talk, she would seek me out,however, she is 10 and doesn’t know what she wants or needs. My job as the mom is to ask about her life, friends, feelings and dreams. I can’t bond with my child if I am distracted by the t.v. or my phone. Those objects belong off and in a different room if I am trying to know my daughter’s heart. It also helps if I tell her my crushes and experiences as a girl to let her see that I am human and so so faulty.
Silence is golden. I have difficulty sitting in silence by myself doing nothing. Left with my thoughts and idle hands is very challenging for me. In the midst of silence and absence of entertainment, maybe Savannah will open up to me. When she can’t avoid me with a book,TV or electronics, maybe she will start talking and I will have enough sense to just sit there and be quiet and listen. The books and experts I have read, tell me this is true so I will have to trust them and try it.
Do I feel bad for snooping on my child and reading her email? NOPE ! Not at all. I am glad I did it and I would and do still spy on her. In my opinion, it makes me a better mom. I have learned how I need to be a better mom and why communication in this digital age is imperative. This has opened opportunities for me to grow and although change is difficult, it is very necessary.
the Wolf Pack 